APHRODITE'S DILEMMA: October 2012

Salaam.

Hey 'stranger'.

It's been a long while hasn't it? And waddya know..? The year's about to end... :)

The below post is something that I've drafted awhile back..was going through my old posts and saw this. Didn't have the energy to write a new post (though I know I've been silent for aeons now..*smile apologetically*), so decided to re-edit the ol' post below and publish it. Didn't change much though..

Hope life's been treating you good, and you've all been blessed with good health, loads of love and happiness and of course bucketful of sunshine! *ameeeeeen*

Enjoy.

*****

Maya Angelou once said,

"If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone to be good to me?"

When I was youngER, I used to be a people pleaser (I think I still have that habit, but not as bad as before..heheh). Not knowing how to say 'No' became a constant battle in my life. I was afraid that had I said 'No' (especially to the people I love) whenever people asked me for help, no one would want to be around me. Much worse, I was scared if no one would like me anymore...

But slowly, as I grew older and became more matured (ye ke? hikhik) and 'experienced' life a little bit more, I realized that those who loved me wouldn't put me into that position in the first place. And that they'd appreciate my honesty if I had to tell them that I can't help them out due to unavoidable reasons.

Lol. Then again, when I really really think about it though, it seriously is not that big of a deal isn't it? Saying 'No'. I was the one who made it hard on myself because I was afraid. Well folks, I'm not anymore cause over the years, I've learned that saying 'No' is not a crime... :)

********

That said, being good to yourself is not just about saying 'No' when it's necessary. It's also about taking good care of yourself - emotionally, mentally and spiritually. All these elements are important so that one can feel 'whole'. It's not enough just knowing the essentials to make you feel good. But it's also important that you practice those essentials so that you can actually FEEL good. :)

Among some of the essentials that I consider necessary in order to feel good and be good to yourself are:
1) You have to accept who you are and who you're not. Mitch Albom said, "Accept who you are, and revel in it!"
We're not all born with superstar looks or supermodel heights, but that doesn't mean we can't have superstar personalities kan? Fair or dark, beautiful or ugly - trust me, beauty fades in the long run but good attitude/personalities insyaAllah would lasts. So try to work on your attitude/personality instead. We're all not perfect human beings, and sometimes we do slip up. The things we said we wouldn't do earlier, might be just the things that we'll end up doing later but everything happens for a reason. So chins up, and move on! Be a better person than you were a day before. In order to be truly happy, you need to accept your flaws and strengths accordingly. When you're able to do that, insyaAllah you'd be more at ease and at peace with life, and yes, yourself too.

A good quote by Steve Maraboli,

"It is important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move on.."

2) Kindness is an investment.
Be kind. To yourself, to your parents, to strangers. To EVERYONE! They say when you make others happy, you'd be happier too.

A sincere smile, a generous warm hug and a kind word could just about make someone's day. Sometimes, it really does take that little effort to lift someone's spirit. But most of us are oblivious of that fact cause we're too busy making a living.. *shrugs* sad but true :)

I love a good quote *lol* so here's another one of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou,

"I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel..."

Clearly, being kind to others is one of the greatest investment one can make - it's a natural mood booster. The happiness that radiates from the person that you just helped (whether intentionally or not) will make YOU happier, and feel good about yourself. So you see, that's why I said kindness is an investment.

Helping others *sincerely of course* would assist in the betterment process of oneself.It'll teach one to be selfless and not only think about the happiness of themselves, but of others too.

*****

Well, that's all from me folks! Not too sure if the above post will be of help, but I certainly hope that in some ways it did - if not to all of you, then to some at the very least :)

Oh btw, a loooooooooooooot of things have happened within the past few months:

1) I just came back from my Euro-trip with mi familia and boy, lemme tell you - I didn't wanna come back, but oh well, reality beckons!