.FRIENDS.

Assalamualaikum & salaam sayang ♥ :)


Hope all of you are well..I came across this post in Tumblr and couldn't resist sharing it with all of you. As a matter of fact, I actually wrote a post similar to this 2 years ago - sharing my thoughts about what constitutes a 'good friend'...

"What defines a best friend? What are the requirements to be a good best friend? How many hours a week does it entail? Stupid questions that have no answers. A best friend is not defined by how many times they talk on the phone, or how many hours they hang out together. It is not defined by how many sleepovers they gossip at, or how many inside jokes they have. There are no requirements or laws that state that a good best friend must hang out with them every weekend, or tell each other every little detail. A best friend is a matter of opinion. It is the person who has been there for you through everything, not just through the fun things, or the little things. It is the person that you call when you are at your absolute worst, it is the person who saves you when you didn’t even notice that you needed saving, mostly it is the person who accepts you for who you are, and the person that you are becoming.."

There are a looooot of opinions and thoughts shared on what makes a friend --> a 'good/best friend'...personally I think in any form of relationship, there should always be give and take; plenty of forgiveness and yes, patience too. None of us are perfect, hence, we need to make allowances once in awhile for the imperfection that our friends (and that includes ours too) have..with that in mind, always try to surround yourself with friends that can motivate/inspire you to be a better person. And try to be the person that can motivate/inspire someone else too; because ultimately the intention of being in a relationship is to make each of you happier, wiser and grow into more beautiful people than you were before *insyaAllah* :)

That said, when you befriend someone, always have this in mind; 'Don't set certain expectations/requirements that he/she should have', and 'Accept them for who they are and who they're not'.

I listed all of the above because when you start having certain expectations or requirements in your relationship/friendship, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. Us humans, we're not perfect. We sometimes make promises that we can't keep. We sometimes lie to keep others happy. Setting expectations/requirements evidently restricts your relationship/friendship with someone from 'growing'.

Neither friendship nor relationship can be control. It's not something that you can maneuver. It's an invisible bond that is bind by chemistry. It's either you have 'it' or you don't. Trust, patience, loyalty then comes next after you've realized that he/she understands you and can be someone that you can rely on. Some friends in fact understands you better than others.

Some friends are so easy to talk to, you can tell them aaaaall of your secrets, while others may be the kind of friends that you avoid from sharing too much details with. Doesn't make them less of a friend, though, don't you think?

Ultimately to me, what matters in a relationship/friendship is the fulfillment that you get from having someone that you can call a friend and rely on. The joy of having a companion that will not only share all your laughters, but your pain too. And last but not least, berkawan biar ikhlas. When you have good intentions, InsyaAllah your friendship will always be protected by HIM from conflict, turmoil and misunderstandings. Ameen.

Much love,
-Me-

Salaam ♥

p.s. Excuse my way of writing in the previous post if you may; it was a personal one as you can see and I was just explaining things the way I see it at the moment. Prolly not my best post, but it was just me expressing my two cents on an 'issue' that I felt was getting out-of-hand... :)

Words

Salaam :)


How many of you have said something hurtful and then regret it a second later? *raises hand* I have...plenty of times, to be frank.. *hmmm*


There's a quote that states;

"If your foot slips, you can always recover your balance. But when your tongue slips, you can never recover your words.."

Human's emotions are fragile; when one lacks patience and are deeply hurt - one uses his/her words to inflict pain on others (whether intentionally/unintentionally); if only to make himself/herself feel better. How long do you think he/her would feel better though? Talking from experience, only a millisecond. Then regrets starts creeping in and before I knew it, I'd be consumed with guilt.. *not.a.good.feeling.to.have* (-_-)"

Pain inflicted from words hurts a lot more than a cut from a knife; for you can see the scars created by the physical wound - but the scars that you can't see...? Those usually hurts the most and takes the longest time to heal. How do I know? Cause hey, I've been a 'victim' before too. And trust me, it hurts. A LOT.

Surprising isn't it? How powerful these simple words could be? It could motivate/inspire a person OR it could hurt and saddens them to the point where it could all spiral out of control and lead them to depression. Apart from that, wrong usage of words could also ruin relationships with others; whether it's with your friends, your spouse or even with your family members..

So how do we change this 'disease'? How could we make sure that the words we use don't inflict pain on others, but instead use them to inspire/motivate/make others happy?

I guess first, you gotta understand how powerful these words are. And how much responsibility you have in ensuring that whatever words that comes out from your mouth are well-thought out and is said only with the best of intentions.. :)

Hehee, sounds hard ek? Maybe; lol. But nothing worth having comes easy in life.. :) And if you value the relationships you have with your friends, your spouse and your family; then it would be worth it to start 'practicing' now. Besides, you may not realize it - but in all honesty, the words that you speak indirectly shows what kind of a person you are. Whether you're someone who is kind, honest and honorable OR it could be the total opposite.

Furthermore, I'm sure at some point in our lives, we've all been a 'victim' of this 'disease'; so we would surely know how hurtful it could be when someone said hurtful words to us. So if you understand how painful those words could be, then I'm sure we could all try not to inflict the same pain on others. We learn from experience kan? So we should not repeat those situations just to make ourselves feel better. No revenge is necessary in this world; after all, HE knows BEST. Let HIM decide the 'punishment' that those who hurt us deserves. And for all you know, perhaps they've repented and seek forgiveness from HIM. If HE, the Al-Mighty can forgive them, then why not us...?

So the next time you're about to speak, think. Would the words you speak out be of value to the other party, or would it instead hurt them and subsequently ruined your relationship with him/her. Think. THINK! :)


An Arabic proverb states;

"Open your mouth only if what you are going to say is more beautiful than silence.."

So think my loves; memanglah tidak mudah nak jadik orang yang baik. But if we do all those hurtful things to others when we clearly know how hurtful it is; then unfortunately, we're just the same like them. Like the people who has hurt us. And so the hurtful cycle repeats. They hurt us, we hurt others..then the others hurt 'others'..and on and on the list goes on...it's not exactly a cycle that one should be a part of, to be honest... :)

We could break the hurtful chain by being the bigger person. When we are hurt, and though we might be tempted to use hurtful words on the other party, try to contain your anger by saying zikr to Allah. Take long deep breaths and just walk away. Walk away, so that you could control your anger/hurt and refrain yourself from saying those words...patience is a virtue. And HE, HE loves those who are patient... :)

"Allah surely loves those who are the Sabireen (patient)..." (3:146)

And below is a du'a that we could all insyaAllah benefit from;

Du'a:

"Allahumma musarrifal-qulubi, sarrif qulubana 'ala ta 'atika"

O Allah! Controller of the hearts, direct our hearts to Your obedience... [Ameen]

Besides, if you think about it - what goes around will always come around. The words you speak today could be the words you eat tomorrow. So you should always try to make them sweet! ;)

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Before I end this quite lengthy post of mine, I'd like to leave all you sweethearts with this powerful quote;

"Words can be very powerful. Why not use them to lift someone up today rather than knock them down.." :)

Have a good good Wednesday dear ones, if you're wearing pink today, you could go to Baskin Robbins and treat yourself to some delicious ice-cream...! ;)



Much love,
-Me-


Salaam ♥

Eid-ul Fitr 2011 ♥

Salaam sayang to all :)


Ramadhan is long gone, but there are some parts of me that still misses it. The breaking fast with my loved ones, the fact that we would go to the mosques in our telekungs to perform the Terawikhs..the fact that it is the month that one should go all out to make du'a to HIM so that HE can ease our burdens, and lessen our sins..I now call it "THE MONTH"..and I hope Allah would grant all of us; you and me both, long lives so that we can aaaaaaall welcome another Ramadhan *insyaAllah* Ameen... :)

Anyways, as you lovely readers out there know..we're now in the month of Syawal! I hope it's not too late for me to wish all of you 'Salam Eid-ul Fitr'. Hope you've had a blessed and wonderful wonderful Eid celebration with all your loved ones *insyaAllah*

To me personally, Raya is not about the 'green packets' and fireworks alone; but it's about seeking forgiveness for the mistakes that you have made in the past and spending time with precious people that you hold close to your heart. So that said, I would like to take this opportunity to seek forgiveness from all of you, andai terkasar bahasa atau tersinggung mana-mana pihak. Salah dan silap harap maafkan ye?

**In all honesty, I didn't start this blog to garner followers but as of late, I've noticed that I've gained quite a number of new readers. I write based on experience and sometimes just for the fun of it. Hence, I hope that in some ways - I've managed to inspire (?) or motivate (?) some if not all of you to be a better and more positive person. If you have any experiences or insights that you would like to share with me, you are more than welcome to write to me at warda_sjaffar@hotmail.com.**

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Salam Eid-ul Fitr dari kami sekeluarga. Moga Allah memberkati kita semua dengan kebahagiaan sempena perayaan yang mulia ini, insyaAllah ♥ :))

First day of Raya; celebrated at Abah's eldest sister's house. It was a simple yet beautiful gathering. A loud and noisy one too *just the way I like it* ;)

We went back to Umi's hometown in Singapore the 2nd day of Raya. It was fun visiting my mum's aunties' and uncles'; as we only get to see them about once a year during Eid. Below are some of the pictures taken during our short trip there:

My sisters & yours truly at the Singapore Airport *my cousin & his friend 'kidnapped' us to celebrate my birthday there* :)

The mosque at Arab Street

One of the beautiful mosques in Singapore :)

One of the shopping malls in Singapore; ION Orchard. The architecture of the building is superb! :)

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Birthday flowers from him. They were gorgeous! :)

Celebrated my belated birthday dinner at La Risata, Medan Damansara. A place worth going to! :)

My birthday was on September 1st. I'm now officially 25 years young *hee* I couldn't be more blessed to be able to celebrate Eid and my birthday all in the same week with people that I love and truly treasure in my life. No words could describe how thankful I am of these blessings Ya Allah! And I pray that you would bless them all with much love and happiness, insyaAllah!

* * * * *

We've about 3 weeks of Eid left; I hope we would all be blessed with more happiness, joy and laughter in this blessed month of Syawal *insyaAllah* And here's a friendly reminder; to those of you who would like to gain more pahala in this beautiful month (it's not compulsory) - let's puasa enam together owkay? It should be done within the month of Syawal, do it continuously or do it alternately - just so long as it's in the month of Syawal. I have yet started doing it myself, but am hoping to start fasting soon *insyaAllah* :)


Alritey then, guess that's all from me for now. May today, tomorrow and insyaAllah the following days would be beautiful for both you and I, Ameen... :)


Much love,
-Me-

Salaam ♥

Kerana Wanita Ingin Di Mengerti ♥

Salaam sayang... :)


One of my fave songs...dedicated to all the women in the world! Hope you'll all have a blessed weekend loves! May HE bless us all, insyaAllah... ♥ :)

"...bintang terang, itulah dirimu..." ---> so never think otherwise, owkay? :)

* * * * *

♥ Ketika wanita menangis,
Itu bukan bererti dia sedang mengeluarkan senjata terampuhnya,
Melainkan bererti dia sedang mengeluarkan senjata terakhirnya...


Ketika wanita menangis,
Itu bukan bererti dia tidak berusaha menahannya,
Melainkan kerana pertahanannya sudah tidak mampu lagi membendung air matanya...


Ketika wanita menangis,
Itu bukan kerana dia ingin terlihat lemah,
Melainkan kerana dia sudah tidak sanggup berpura-pura kuat... ♥

A woman is special, created from Adam's ribs; not created from his head to top him, nor his feet to be stepped upon. She was made from his side to be close to him, from beneath his arm to be protected by him and near his heart to be loved by him. So treat her gently and love her dearly, for she is a strong yet delicate soul; and truly, the best of you men are the ones who are just and gentle with those around you... :)


Much love,
-Me-

Salaam ♥

Senyumlah Wahai Kawanku... :)

Salaam...

I hope all of you are well, insyaAllah. I don't know about you, but I am still in disbelief that in three days' time, us Muslims would be celebrating Eid-ul Fitr. Ya Allah, how time flies! +_+

Regardless, I sincerely hope that Ramadhan's been treating you kind and that it has blessed you and your loved ones with plenty of barrakat and joy, insyaAllah. The month of Syawal is gonna arrive soon; hence I hope it would help strengthen our relationship with our loved ones and blessed us all with more love, patience and joy, Ameen. :)

* * * * *

I know it's hard to smile when we're facing a tough battle; but even our beloved Prophet SAW could smile when he is tested with hardships that is even bigger than ours...then why can't we braved ourselves and try to smile..? :)

Senyumlah wahai kawanku, Kesatlah air matamu dan senyumlah kerana
Setiap ujian yang diturunkan pasti bersebab dan mempunyai seribu satu hikmah yang tersirat disebaliknya...
Masakan Allah menguji dirimu sekiranya DIA tidak percaya bawaha engkau mampu mengatasinya,
Masakan DIA menguji dirimu sekiranya DIA tidak menyayangimu..
Kerna sayanglah, DIA tiap kali menguji dirimu; supaya engkau tidak leka, supaya engkau sentiasa mengingatiNYA
Maka tabahkanlah hatimu, dan kuatkanlah dirimu
Agar engkau lebih sabar mengharungi segala dugaanNya
Agar engkau lebih redha untuk menghadapi semua perancangan yang telah ditetapkan olehNYA,
Kerana percayalah sesungguhnya, kita manusia hanya boleh merancang, tetapi DIAlah yang berkuasa untuk menentukannya...
Maka senyumlah kawanku, kerana percayalah DIA sememangnya amat menyayangi dirimu... <3

Always have faith that HE 'blessed' you with plenty of obstacles and challenges because HE loves you. If you see Allah, Mighty and Magnificent, holding back this world from you, frequently trying you with adversity and tribulation, do know that you hold a great status with HIM. Know that he is dealing with you as HE does with HIS ‘Awliya and chosen elite, and is watching over you.

"So wait steadfastly for the judgement of your Lord - you are certainly before our eyes..." [Surah At-Tur; 52:48]

So my friends; everytime you are faced with an obstacle that is burdening you - try to smile; because that means HE loves you and cares for you..and that also means, HE remembers you..and wants you to remember HIM too.. <3


Much love,
-Me-

Salaam... :)

"Best Thing I Never Had"

Song playing in the background: Beyonce's "Best Thing I Never Had"


I was in the car when I first listened to this song, the lyrics caught my attention and I couldn't help but smile. Beyonce's songs are always *almost* inspirational. She always knows how to empower women and get them through certain difficult and heartbreaking situations. "Irreplaceable" got me through my heartache. I played that song over & over again, till I felt a LOT better.

Singing at the top of my lungs that "You must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me, I can have another you in a minute, matter fact he'll be here in a minute..baby.." made me feel so semangat! Lol. Kononnya, that is MY way of moving on, like hey, don't worry but I'm gonna be just FINE! You hurt me, and you seemed to think that I ain't gonna be able to move on, and you're gonna be sorry! :b

*Reality is, lol - If I had a chance, I don't think I'd want another him, and when I sang that song, it was nothing personal. But it was the only way I knew how to express my hurt and disappointment of yet another failed relationship.* :)

Ive grown a lot over the years; both spiritually and mentally. *I'd like to say physically too, but hey who am I kidding right?* -_-"

Years have passed, and I'm now much happier *Alhamdulillah* and more matured. I now realized that, perhaps the reason why I went through those ordeals was to make me a better person, to make me stronger, more attentive to my surroundings and the people that I hold close to my heart. Of course it hurts, but hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger kan? Furthermore, I believe that there's a reason why a heart breaks. It breaks because it needs to be put back together by the right person when the time is right. So have patience, owkay? In due time, HE'll blessed you with someone who knows your worth *insyaAllah* :))

Having said that, experiencing those 'sticky' situations usually would make one closer to HIM. Because ultimately, the only one who could make you feel better is the CREATOR. It is HIM we should seek when we are in doubt, and it is HIM we should turn to when we are in pain. We might not understand why it happened to us and felt as though he is punishing us but believe me when I say that, when GOD takes away something from your hand, don't think HE's punishing you for HE is merely emptying your hand, for you to receive something better. GOD is fair and HE knows BEST, even though you might not like and accept the situation that has happened to you..

"You may dislike something although it is good for you, or like something although it is bad for you: GOD knows and you do not.." [Al-Baqarah, 216]

I've been told that when bad things happens to you, you should question your relationship with HIM and reflect on the things that you've done in the past. Because sometimes the real reason why you are put through those challenges is to make you closer to HIM...let HIM take control of your life; for we can plan but GOD is indeed the BEST planner.

I saw this in Tumblr, and it touched my heart...

"Suddenly I somehow know that my life did not need to be this way and that GOD had something better for me. I felt him gently whisper these words to my soul: 'You continue to get your heart broken because you are holding the pen of your life and trying to write your own story. I am the Author of love. I am the Creator of romance. I know your heart's every desire. I want to script a beautiful tale just for you, but first you must give the pen to me. You must let ME become the center of your existence. You must let ME have total control of your love life, and every other area of your life as well..."

Beautiful isn't it? I'll let you reflect on that yourself... :)

Much love from me <3

.Salaam.


p.s. I love this cover of Beyonce's song, have a listen to it... :)

Life's Trials & Tribulations...

In love and life, there are a lot of trial and errors. Some obstacles that we faced would bring us triumph while others might lead to unwanted results. However, for each and every pain/heartbreak that we go through - we should all be aware that there are perfectly good reasons behind them, though we might not be able to understand why at that particular moment. Have the belief that those challenges are only given to you because Allah knows that your faith is strong enough to get through them.

Trust me when I tell you this; that Allah only removes something from your life to make room for something better. And sometimes HE would take away the better to give you HIS best. So stay strong and have faith in HIM and yourself; for with each difficulty in life, there is surely ease. And for each supplication you make, there would be great reward from the Al-Mighty - so gather your strength and have patience, for insyaAllah you would be rewarded handsomely when the time comes...

Oh Allah…

I told you: I’m in pain

You said: ‘Do not despair of the mercy of Allah’ (39:53)

I told you: Nobody knows what is in my heart

You said: ‘Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest’ (13:28)

I told you: Many people hurt me

You said: ‘So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them’ (3:159)

I told you: I feel I’m alone

You said: ‘We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein’ (50:16)

I told you: My sins are so many

You said: ‘And who can forgive sins except Allah?’ (3:135)

I told you: Do not leave me

You said: ‘So remember Me; I will remember you…’ (2:152)

I told you: I’m facing a lot of difficulties in life

You said: ‘And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out’ (65:2)

I told you: I have many dreams that I want to come true

You said: ‘Call upon Me; I will respond to you.’ (40:60)

So you see, Allah never fails us & HE would always be there for us, in good times and bad times, in sickness and in health...and unlike marriage, even death can't ever tear our relationship away from HIM cause HE is our creator and indeed, HE knows BEST...so turn to HIM when you are in trouble, seek for HIS help when you are in doubt; and last but not least, never ever forget to thank HIM when you are blessed by HIS kindness and love...

Much love,
.Salaam.